okay, I'm down with a cold. but crazy as it may sound, I really thank God for helping me last through yesterday..I say, His strength never left me. I managed to get quite a lot done before leaving my office at a very late hr...I thought I might "collapse" but I didn't..phew.

You know, I've been thinking about motives. And it's a touchy topic because every one of us faces it - we all carry motives in every action taken and decision made.

I was thinking about Pst Tan's sermon and all throughout, he mentioned "for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake". That hit me.

It made me ponder on the things that I do..whether or not it's for an eternal cause. Like even with my work, I do think about why do I put in so much time & effort, tears even at times..."what is it all for?"

I know you've been hearing me talk about work, work and more work. Pardon me, because I'm in a season of my life where a lot of me is put into work. Just for you all who know the background of my job, I'm still in transition but slowly, things are taking on a brand new turn. (please keep me in prayers.. :))

So I was at work yesterday and someone mentioned to me (I wanna clarify here: out of pure genuine concern) that I should go back home early and added a casual remark that I won't be given a best employee award because of my effort.

I thought a lot about it. And started a whole self-search thing on it, after office hours..hahah. But I know deep down that no, the motive for staying behind is pure.

In the working world, some may say I'm crazy and silly and so very young & naive even, for working so much and putting in that kind of time & effort. I wanna be honest here. It does break my heart.

It breaks my heart because I see the kind of jadedness that is not supposed to exist. I mean, we are created to work, to labour and be satisfied & feel fulfilled with our harvest. And it's thru working too that we can build a closer relationship with God and understanding Him. Wasn't that what Adam experienced in Eden?

I want to tell (more importantly, SHOW) people that we can work and not get jaded with life. We can work and still have joy, great joy in doing what we do.

While it does hurt when sometimes, people don't understand...I'm really taking comfort that God knows & sees not just the things done..but the heart behind it.

p.s.: hmmm I don't know why I wrote so much on this here..but it's been good for me, done me much good. And perhaps, someone reading needs to know this (what I've blogged) too? pls let me know if you happened to be the one :)